I stopped into Safeway the other day for a doughnut. (Sometimes I really like a bad doughnut. Does this happen to you?) On previous visits I’d chuckled at the sign above the doughnut case, which read:
AT SAFEWAY, A DOZEN IS 14
This time, however, I completely lost it, because someone had carefully pasted a square of paper over the “14” and written “12.”
I was all set to come home and write about this, but it occurred to me to Google it first. It turns out I am late to this party:
The Consumerist: Grocery Shrink Ray Unleashes Its Fury On Safeway Bakery
The sign at my local Safeway was more tastefully redone than this. But wow, apparently some genius at corporate sent out a memo to stores telling them to scratch out their generous doughnut policy with a Sharpie. This is so awesome I don’t know where to start. Like, if they had raised the price of a dozen doughnuts by a dollar, hardly anybody would have even noticed, right? Whereas this way it’s more like…
SAFEWAY IS STEALING MY DOUGHNUTS
Would an enterprising culture jammer please mount a doughnut protest at Safeway and post the video? I would so love to see that. And if you, dear readers, were going to attend such a protest, what would you write on your picket signs?
12 donuts is the liars dozen!
Cheeper by the dozen? or is it?
Obama for the 14 donut dozen
(the o being a donut)
Cops against safeway
(i know the cop/donut joke is old, but it still works for me)
“In Soviet Russia, donut eats you!”
You can pry those two extra donuts from my cold, dead hands.
Daiso has a donut making spatula-type thing…
(unsure if there is also a donut hole spatula)
What is a donut making spatula type thing? Can you just turn it on and it makes donuts?
Oh, that story does not end well, Matthew… although it would be a great birthday present for you. Happy birthday!
My well placed source says that this may have been only the Safeway you visited. Not a corporate sell out after all. :o(
C’mon, if they did it at two different Safeways, that is definitely a conspiracy. I mean corporate goons. I mean…OH NO MY BRANE.