I’d really like to eat a human

Iris and I have a new video game obsession: Tasty Planet.

You begin as a microorganism, created in a lab as a revolutionary bathroom cleanser. But you swiftly grow out of control, feasting on paramecia, insects, toys, rats, and so on. We haven’t gotten very far, but I note that the last section of the game is called Cosmos.

Iris is wondering when we’ll get to eat people. “I’m not sure that’s in the game,” I said.

“No, it is,” she insisted. Either she is just overenthusiastic, or she can decompile code with her brain, like D.A.R.Y.L.

Tasty Planet is $20 for Mac or PC.

9 thoughts on “I’d really like to eat a human

  1. Chris

    Excuse me, a microorganism made as a bathroom cleanser? You used to work in a lab. Does it make sense? Does it seem like a reasonable bioremediation proposition? I just feel like microbial toxic waste reclamation going on in the bathroom would generate some pretty nasty byproducts — sulfurs, methanes, things of that nature.

    Ask Iris what she thinks.

  2. mamster Post author

    Look, when the scientists threw the rampaging gray goo into the ocean and it ate a dolphin, I cried real tears.

    Of laughter, but still.

  3. Chris

    Oh, scientists…their solution is always to throw their rampaging goo into the ocean, isn’t it?

  4. heather

    seriously, not twelve minutes ago, i was telling my husband, “i remember reading the memoirs (?) of the actual von trapp family, when they went around the world, singing, and stuff…

    they stayed with a cannibal tribe, and maria asked what was the most delicious part of a person was. she patted her behind, like “yes? is this most tasty?” (not suggestively.)

    the cannibals assured her that oh, no, people-behind is quite tough. the palms of the hand and the cheeks are the most tender and tasty.”

    think of this comment as a little gamefaqs.com walkthrough of the final level of your little game, and via con dios.

  5. mamster Post author

    The final level? I want to know which planet is most tasty. I assume Earth tastes like a salad with bacon bits, but I have also heard that the rings of Saturn are made of feuilletine.

  6. Stephen

    We, too, have become addicted to it. “Come see this,” Misty told me, “it’s like a paramecium saw Katamari Damacy and got ideas.” Now Eli demands we play it.

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