I went to Whole Foods this morning for some important items: a carmelita, Parmigiano, and some ramps. When I got back, I made the mistake of telling Iris about the carmelita.

> **Iris:** Did you get two?

> **Me:** No, just one.

> **Iris:** Where is it?

> **Me:** In my tummy.

> **Iris:** Did you get me a treat?

> **Me:** I got some ramps. That’s a treat.

> **Iris:** I needed a special treat and ramps are a scary treat.

> **Me:** (laughing)

> **Iris:** No, really, they are.

So we went to QFC for some popsicles. When Laurie got home…

> **Iris:** Mama, we got popsicles!

> **Laurie:** What flavor?

> **Iris:** Sugar.

Over at [Married With Dinner](http://www.marriedwithdinner.com/), they have a feature called Drink of the Week. I enjoy reading it, because experimenting with mixed drinks is exactly the sort of thing I’m never going to get around to now that I have a kid.

Unless I can send that kid to bartending school. To that end, Iris and I invented a new bath game called Bartender. One of her rubber ducks is the bartender, and two others are customers at the bar.

Yesterday, Iris created a cocktail of half rum, half tea. I call it the Sober Pirate.

Today, I challenged Iris to come up with ingredients for a new cocktail, the Squawking Parrot. “Walnut salad and pork,” she replied.

“Cocktails usually consist of things people drink,” I said. This was restrictive and archaic, she indicated. Then the bartender went crazy after drinking too many Squawking Parrots and started pitching customers into the water.

Tomorrow we’re going to work on a drink called the Crow’s Nest.

**Iris:** Can I have some more sausage?

**Me:** Sure. It’ll take one minute to warm it up.

*(20 seconds later)*

**Iris:** Dada?

**Me:** Yes?

**Iris:** Could you please do me a favor and give me the sausage now?