Monthly Archives: January 2009

G.P.

In my imagination, I am starring in a new Food Network show called _Gourmet Prowler._ On each episode, I break into someone’s house and have to make myself a gourmet meal of whatever I find in their kitchen.

I came up with this idea because there are eight legs of duck confit aging in the fridge, and I pointed out to Laurie that this would constitute the jackpot for any gourmet prowler. I’ll let you know how the confit turns out in a couple weeks when it’s ready.

P.S.: The confit is aging in the traditional vessels of Gascony, made by _La Jeune Fille de Caoutchouc._

Gumshoes

For reasons that I can’t begin to explain, Iris and her cousin Kylie came to me and asked me to write a homework assignment with questions for someone studying to be a detective. The first question I came up with was:

**What is something red you would find at a crime scene?**

They took the worksheet down the hall and Kylie read the question. “Pepperoni!” said Iris.

“That’s my kind of crime scene,” said Iris’s uncle Scott.

Fortunately, the cousins discussed the matter and came up with a much more likely answer, which they scrawled on the sheet:

TOMATO.

I can also report that a detective’s favorite sandwich is PB&J, and that in a fight between a pirate and a detective, the pirate would win.