Drink up
The bartending game at bathtime rolls along unabated. Lately, it goes like this. Hello Kitty, the bartender, is having a promotion where you can taste three seasonal or theme drinks for free, but if you want to drink the whole thing, you have to pay. Unfortunately, the fearsome pirate K. Rool and his minion (whose name is Minion) keep coming into the bar and drinking everything without paying up.
Recent drinks have included:
- The Beach Towel Umbrella
- The Soap
- Sharkwater
- The Swimsuit
- The Coral Reef
- The Wind
- The April Shower
- The Hat
- The Lobster Cooler
If you have any drink ideas, please let me know, because I am seriously running out.
Comment by heather
hmmm…
when my husband was tending bar, and dopey bar girls would ask for ridiculous drinks with ridiculous names, he would ask them if they knew what was in that drink. if they didn’t know, he wouldn’t make it for them.
(i’m not sad to have married a man who not only doesn’t know what goes into a slippery nipple, but who made people feel dumb for having asked for it in the first place.)
the trouble here is, iris is infinitely smarter than, well, pretty much any drunk lincoln park trixie, and thus it’s harder to put one over on her.
do they have to be beach-related? i mean, because of the bath, right? i’m a big fan of squirrels and wiener dogs. maybe you could incorporate them in a vacationy kind of way…like the “wiener dog surf shop,” the “squirrel vacation”…
“bartender? four squirrel vacations, please. YES, i know what’s in that.”
Posted on July 10, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Comment by heather
oh, or, duh, more pirate themey…the crow’s nest cooler, the keelhauler, the plank walker, the poop deck…
or hello kitty themed…the “where’s your mouth, japanese cat”…
i’m just brainstorming here.
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 6:37 am
Comment by mamster
All of those, with the exception of the Poop Deck, are excellent drink names, and I will try some of them out tonight.
Except for the Plank Walker. Because I am changing my name to Plank Walker.
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 6:45 am
Comment by My Other Car is the Tardis
If you and Iris are still feeling nautical by nature, you might try names from SpongeBob: the Krusty Krab, the Squidward, Barnacle Boy, Sandy Cheeks, etc.
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Comment by teri
Pirate-themed: the One-Eyed Jack, the Pirate’s Booty, the Scallywag, the Captain Hook
Bath-themed: Tiny Bubbles, Drain-O, Soap on a Rope, the Rubber Duckie
Have you thought about getting a bouncer to keep the pirate and his minion in check?
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Comment by mamster
If I mention soap on a rope, Iris is going to want some. Do they still make it?
A bouncer is going to feature tonight, guaranteed. I am nominating Mama Duck, who is five times the size of any of the other ducks.
Incidentally, the bartender is Hello Kitty, K. Rool is a pirate devil duck, and Minion is a non-pirate devil duck.
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Comment by teri
A quick Googling demonstrates that soap on a rope is still out there for the taking. Good to know some things don’t change.
Given Kitty’s rogue clientele, perhaps she should start serving duck-themed drinks to scare off the customers: Duck Hash, the Confitini, etc, etc.
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Comment by Dana
How about…
Plenty of mutininous spirits
and for those scalleywags K.Rool and his minion, I recomend a glass of Mooches Hootch.
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Comment by Dana
wow, that didn’t format my list at all, making the longest run on sentence ever printed on your site, or one big drink order!
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Comment by mamster
Fixed!
Posted on July 11, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Comment by Rocky
How about:
The Wharf Rat The Slumgullion - though that’s a dish already Crew’s Liberty The Anchor Watch Joy Rags The Flaming Beard The Sparkling Booty
Posted on July 13, 2007 at 3:10 pm