Dear Martha
In the December issue of Martha Stewart Living, you published a feature by Steve Almond of Candyfreak fame. Almond, who has also written in great detail about his sexual hangups and about Condoleezza Rice, writes:
Among the countless things that can evoke nostalgia, two tower above the rest: Christmas and candy. The mere mention of either instantly conjures memories of the innocent pleasures of childhood. Combine the two and you have a recipe for old-fashioned bliss. Made by hand and decked out in handsome, easy-to-craft gift packaging that also calls to mind holidays of yesteryear, these retro confections may taste even better than you recommended.
Martha, I can totally write this kind of stuff too, and unlike Steve, I won’t embarrass your corporate empire by publishing collections of dirty short stories. Everything I write is totally safe for work. That’s all I’m saying.
Sincerely,
Matthew Amster-Burton
Seattle
P.S.: Steve, if you’re reading this, I demand to see a piece of easy-to-craft gift packaging that you, personally, crafted.
Comment by ts
Completed unrelated, but thought of you when I saw this:
link
Posted on December 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Comment by Wendy
Martha needs people around her who make HER look good. You have to up the ante; perhaps a stint in prison or an attempt to buy a Senate seat would give you a better shot.
Posted on December 9, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Comment by mamster
If nobody ponies up the cash, I’m just going to appoint myself as CEO of Martha Stewart Omnimedia.
Posted on December 9, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Comment by Laura
When I read that candy feature, I thought the pairing of Steve Almond and Martha was strange as well. But seeing as how I love them both, no complaints here. I’m sure there’s room for mamster in the MSL empire somewhere. Or maybe Iris should have her own column.
Posted on December 10, 2008 at 11:07 am
Comment by Caroline
That same issue of Martha Stewart Living has a similar article (not much text, all of it predictable) on broiling, by David Leite of Leite’s Culinaria. Nice work if you can get it.
Posted on December 26, 2008 at 4:08 pm